Since it’s the holiday season, I thought I’d share some thoughts on hosting – and attending – festivities.

COME TOGETHER

The real fun of any party is connecting with other people. There’s nothing worse than going to a shindig where you barely know anyone, and leaving the party in the same isolated state. It doesn’t cost a thing to make introductions between your guests, and it’s a much-appreciated gesture. The best technique is to hook up people with common interests. “Terry, this is Alex. Like you, he collects Nazi memorabilia.” I have a friend who celebrated sudden wealth by inviting four hundred people on a private Caribbean cruise. The journey had four legs, and each week one hundred people would disembark, and the next group would get on board. The guests were all accomplished, creative people, and there was a sprinkling of celebrities. When we arrived, we personally knew about fifteen out of the hundred. Our host had a brilliant plan for connecting strangers: a salon. Every night before dinner, we would all gather in the lounge and various guests would offer a lecture or a performance, show a film, read a short story, give a tango class, a cooking demonstration, whatever. Benni became a big star: he entertained us with puzzles and games – which included levitating the rather hefty Francis Ford Coppola! The salon was a great way to break the ice and by the end of the week, we were one big happy family. Many people who started out as strangers formed lasting friendships. This was a host who knew how to do his job.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN

I was so impressed with the salon format that I tried to introduce it to my closest social circle. No such luck: my scuzzy friends would rather just eat, drink, and play poker. At birthdays, however, we do get creative. We eat, drink, and roast the celebrant with funny songs and poems. And then we play poker. In fact, game nights are a popular form of free fun in my highly competitive posse. We’ll get together for an evening of Boggle, Charades, Pictionary, etc. I won’t say I enjoy every minute.  I’m a Boggle champ, but nobody wants me on their Pictionary team; all my pathetic attempts at drawings look like Rorschalk tests.

One of the most original parties we ever attended was actually a wedding present. Our hosts had received a gift of a private wine-tasting seminar, and they invited a dozen friends to participate. An expert gave us a lecture and tastes of twelve different wines, each accompanied by food. It was fun and informative. This wedding present, needless to say, was not a gift you could buy on the cheap at a yard sale.

At a holiday party, Kathy, a dance teacher, made an unusual contribution. She created a dance tape, and brought a variety of percussion instruments: bongos, tambourines, triangles, castanets, maracas, etc. Banging out Latin rhythms was a great release from the daily grind, but you can only have this kind of fun if you are in contact with your inner child. Since my entire life is ruled by my inner child, I had no problem with it.

One event I will never host is a New Years Eve bash. I’m still suffering from Post-Traumatic-Syndrome from my last attempt. Years ago, in New York, I invited around twenty people to ring out the old. What I forgot was people wander from party to party on New Years. Guests kept dropping in and out all evening, so I never had more than four at any one time. At midnight, there was one lonely soul who was so bored that he fell asleep on the couch. At 1:30, a crowd of revelers rang the bell. I pretended I was in bed and did not answer the door. Never again. But it’s fast approaching, so HAPPY NEW YEAR, ONE AND ALL!