People pay big bucks to join dating services, but there are cheaper ways to make connections. You might start with friends. I was fixed up with Benni on a blind date. We met in February and got married in April, because he had just arrived from Copenhagen and needed a green card. My friends warned me that I was marrying a stranger and after he got his papers I might never see him again. I felt we were a good fit, and decided to risk it. That was a zillion years ago, and we’re still going strong – although I do have moments when I think my friends were right: I married a stranger. Maybe all spouses have those moments.
I know one woman who started attending AA meetings in Beverly Hills. She had no addiction problems, but she figured there might be some interesting single men there. I’m not sure I’d recommend that ploy. But there are plenty of classes, church groups, political and charitable organizations, etc. where you can meet people who are not recovering crack heads.
My girl friend Sara noticed a cute guy on the subway who was reading a book she had just finished. She started chatting with him, and they have now been married for twenty years.
Michael, a theatre director, volunteered to be a mentor to a disadvantaged kid. At the training session, he met a young woman who was also being trained. They, too, have now been married for twenty years.
My son, Jonathan, has a friend who joined the Peace Corps. While he was working in Haiti, he hooked up with another volunteer and – you guessed it – the wedding took place a year later.
I’m not saying you have to join a do-good organization to meet your soulmate. I just think that if you’re someone with a lot of hobbies, interests, and passions, you just might come across Mr/Ms Right in the middle of your active life – without paying a fee!
If I were single in a big city, I’d get a puppy – and not just for companionship. Dog-owners are a very social sub-culture. I took a stroll with Sue and her Wheaton terrier, Daisy, in Manhattan’s Riverside Park. We couldn’t walk for two minutes without another canine-owner stopping to chit-chat. Maybe someone should start a business leasing dogs to singles: call it PuppyPimp.com. I see a film script here.
I’m curious: did you meet your significant other in an unusual way? I would love to hear about it. Post your stories in the comments section.
FRUGAL VALENTINES
Benni and I are not gifty people. We will celebrate this holiday by doing things for each other. He will clean out the garage – which I have been asking him to do for about ten years. I will cook him his favorite dinner – which has also not happened in a while. These things may sound mundane, but when you’ve been married as long as we have, nothing is as seductive as seeing my husband complete a domestic chore.
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My dad was a national radio sales rep. living and working Chicago. My Mom answered his ad for a Secretary. When she arrived she asked “Do you have to be a citizen to have this job?”. My Dad said he didn’t care that she couldn’t type or file and that Englsh was NOT her first language….was (and still is) amazingly beautiful!
I met my boyfriend 13 months ago on Facebook. I didn’t know him (and we had no friends in common) but his profile was witty, he liked Sinatra and he had on a great blue shirt….so I “poked” him. We exchanged emails and phone calls for a few weeks and then he drove 90 minutes to take me to dinner. I was smitten the minute I saw him. He had flowers for me, took me to a movie after dinner and then at the end of the evening insisted on paying for my babysitter (I have 3 small children). He said “It should never cost you money for me to have honor of taking you out”. There are over 400 million users on Facebook….you do the math!
You must have taken the last of the good men LOL no seriously that is so very special that he paid for the babysitter and did not run in the other direction upon finding you had small children. That says a lot for this man, he is a keeper and the remark “It should never cost you money for me to have the honor of taking you out”. That says a whole lot about this man and his character. Good for you and him. All I ever get feedback from are the jerks on there so I gave up. But I am very glad for you guys. God Bless.
Darci
My brother, Evan, fresh out of Juilliard had just gotten into the LA PHIL as a 20 year old violist. He insisted I come to a concert and meet his friend and colleague, Jerry…not for any reason other than because he was a great guy. I had NO plans to ever get married…in fact, I was planning on moving to Europe for a while as I had 6 months of gigs lined up and meetings with publishers. I was supposed to have picked up my airline ticket that morning, but had a scheduling conflict and was to do it the next day. I had just come from a rehearsal..wearing a black gas coat, boots and after getting a little tipsy at my hair stylist…had neon pink dyed hair at right in the middle of my blonde curls so it would pop on stage under the bright lights. Upon arriving back stage…my brother shouts out…”Yo Bro, dis is my sista”…and I never left…and for that, my grandfather paid him $1000 finders fee!
oh..and we’ve been married for over 23 years (I’ve known him for 25).
Even though I’m a frugalista, I would say that thousand bucks was well worth it!
My husband and I met on the pier at Sans Souci (demolished by hurricane Iniki), located at the foot of Diamond Head. He was sitting to my left, staring at me and I was studiously ignoring him when a fish jumped close to the pier. He said, “Did you see that?” I said, “Yes, what was it?”–meaning what type of fish. He responded, “A fish.” I knew then that I had a rocket scientist on my hands. He clinched the deal by telling me his father was a well-known professor at the University of Hawaii–who happened to be Japanese. My husband is a rather tall, blonde, definitely Caucasian male. I am the daughter of another well-known professor at the University and happened to be familiar with the professor in question. My response was a rather tart, “The heck you are.” The rest is history. Never trust the offbeat ones.
The day after I was interrogated by the Greek Secret Police, late in September of 1969, I was sitting at a cafe on the main street of my village, feeling scared and angry. An incredibly handsome young Greek man walked by, leaned toward me, and said, “Would you walk?” We strolled down the street to the harbor and along the quai. We were together a year. Then love stopped being true.
I attended a trade-show and a colleague introduced me to a publishing industry acquaintance. I was smitten; she thought I was gay. That night I dragged a different colleague– who actually is gay– to a party at which this lovely woman was in attendance. She confessed on one of our early dates that it took her a while to believe that I wasn’t gay, and that my work friend was. We got married a year and a half ago!